Situation · Work
“My boss is nice to my face but trashes me to others”
What could be going on
Gossips and triangulates: Fits exactly; check what you hear from more than one source.
Passive aggression: Fits if they avoid direct conflict but act on anger indirectly.
Triangulation: Fits if they recruit others into the tension instead of talking to you.
Conflict modes (Thomas-Kilmann): Fits if they avoid direct confrontation in general.
Machiavellianism: Fits if it is strategic and done to the right people.
Agrees in the room, resists later: Fits if they agree with you in person but act against you later.
Questions to carry
- How did I last hear what my boss had said, and who brought it to me?
- Now, when my boss is warm to my face, what happens inside me?
Also said as
- two-faced manager
- she smiles at me then complains about me to HR
- my coworker talks behind my back
- my boss says nice things to me and bad things to others
- my manager is fake to me
- my boss gossips about me behind my back