Situation · Work
“I feel small and stupid whenever my boss is in the room”
What could be going on
You feel small or stupid around them: Fits exactly; check whether others feel the same around them.
Transference: Fits if the boss reminds you of a critical parent or teacher.
One-up, one-down: grandiosity and shame (Terry Real): Fits if they act superior and you drop into shame.
Contempt: Fits if they look down on people with eye-rolls, sighs or cold dismissal.
Defectiveness/shame schema: Fits if you feel deeply flawed with many authorities, not only this one.
Ego states: Parent, Adult, Child (Transactional Analysis): You may be slipping into a Child state; notice your posture and voice with them.
Questions to carry
- What did my boss do or say in the first minute the last time they walked in?
- Who else in my life have I felt this small around, and how old was I?
Also said as
- my manager makes me feel like an idiot
- I lose all my confidence around my boss
- why do I shrink around her
- I become a child when my boss talks to me
- my boss makes me feel inferior
- I feel worthless around my manager