Situation · Family and friends
“I feel guilty every time I set a boundary with my parents”
What could be going on
You feel guilty without having done anything: Fits if you feel guilty though you have harmed no one.
Enmeshment/undeveloped self schema: Could be a felt merger with them, so separateness feels like abandonment.
Introjection: Check whether the guilty voice is theirs, taken in long ago.
Guilt: Ask whether you broke a real standard; if not, the guilt is a habit, not a verdict.
People-pleasing: Fits if disapproval of any kind makes you anxious, not only theirs.
Questions to carry
- What did my parents say or do right after I last said no to them?
- Where does the guilt sit in my body, and whose voice does it speak in?
Also said as
- saying no to my mum makes me feel like a terrible person
- why do I feel so bad for having limits with family
- guilt after telling my dad I won't visit
- I feel selfish for protecting my time from my parents
- boundary guilt with family
- I feel like a bad daughter for saying no