Situation · Partners and dating
“I can't leave even though I know he's bad for me”
What could be going on
Trauma bonding: Fits if cycles of hurt and comfort have made you more attached.
Intermittent reinforcement: Check whether the good moments keep hope alive.
Coercive control: Leaving may feel impossible because of fear, isolation or money; check for these.
Learned helplessness: Fits if you've stopped believing anything you do will change things.
Sunk cost fallacy: Check whether years invested are making the decision.
Dependence/incompetence schema: Fits if you doubt you could cope alone.
Questions to carry
- When I think about leaving, what is the first thing I picture him doing?
- Who knows how it really is with him, and who could I tell a little more?
Also said as
- why can't I leave this relationship
- everyone tells me to leave but I can't
- I know she's toxic but I keep staying
- I'm stuck in a bad relationship
- I know I should leave him but I can't
- why do I stay with someone who hurts me