Situation · Partners and dating
“He tells me what to wear and who I can see”
What could be going on
Coercive control: Fits if rules are enforced with anger, punishment or monitoring; check whether you're afraid to break them.
Controls a partner's money, friends or movements: Check whether he also controls money, phone or movements.
Jealousy: Fits if the rules are mainly about keeping other people's eyes off you.
Omnipotent control: Check whether he needs to control everything around him, not just you.
Authoritarian personality: Fits if he believes strongly in hierarchy and obedience across life.
Moral foundations: Some cultures or faiths set dress norms; check whether you share them or they're imposed.
Questions to carry
- The last time I wore or did something he had said no to, what happened next?
- How does my body feel when I get dressed now, and who could I tell about these rules?
Also said as
- my boyfriend controls what I wear
- she decides who I'm allowed to be friends with
- my husband makes rules for me
- partner controlling my clothes and friends
- my partner tells me how to dress
- he won't let me wear certain clothes