Behaviour · What they evoke in you

You feel on edge and don't know why

They're polite and helpful, but your stomach is tight the whole time you're with them.

Rule out first

Your own anxiety that day. Caffeine. Something about the setting rather than them.

What could explain it

Emotional contagion: They're anxious, you're picking it up, and they'll admit to stress if asked.

Generalised anxiety: Their worry is constant and unspoken; the tension is in their posture and the room.

Projective identification: They seem oddly calm while you carry the fear; the feeling seems to have been handed over.

Psychopathy: Your body recognises something predatory before your mind does: warmth that doesn't reach the eyes, and too much interest in your weak spots.

Transference: They remind you of someone from your past; the unease belongs to that person.

A next move

Ask yourself who they remind you of. If nobody, watch how they treat people who can't do anything for them, and how they talk about people they've finished with.

If it’s you

What does my body know that my head is ignoring?