Withdrawn and low for weeks
They've stopped coming to lunch, keep the camera off, deliver late, and look grey.
Rule out first
Physical illness, including thyroid problems or anaemia. A new baby or caring duties. A bereavement you know about.
What could explain it
Burnout: Started with overwork, centres on work, and lifts on holiday.
Grief (complicated, disenfranchised, anticipatory): Follows a loss and comes in waves; between waves they can still enjoy some things.
Major depression: Across all of life for more than two weeks: loss of interest, sleep and appetite changes, hopelessness, self-blame.
Persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia): Low-grade gloom for years that's now a bit worse; they think it's just their personality.
Warning signs of suicide risk and self-harm: Talk of being a burden or of not being around, giving things away, putting affairs in order, or sudden calm after despair.
Covert depression in men (Terry Real): A man who won't call it low: he says he's tired or busy, but he's more irritable, working or drinking more, and has dropped friends. What he still enjoys is the question that reaches it.
A next move
Ask directly and privately: 'You seem low. How are you really?' If there's any hint of not wanting to be alive, ask plainly about suicide. Asking does not plant the idea. Then get professional help involved.
If it’s you
Has this lasted more than two weeks, and have I told anyone?