Behaviour · Thinking and talking

Avoids eye contact, gives literal replies

You ask 'can you look at the deck?' and they reply 'yes' and do nothing. In meetings they look at the table.

Rule out first

Cultural norms about eye contact with seniors. Language: a second language makes idiom hard. Shyness in a new setting.

What could explain it

Autism in adults: Literal reading of indirect requests, lifelong, with deep interests and difficulty with small talk; eye contact feels intense rather than frightening.

Social anxiety: They avoid eyes because they fear judgement; with trusted people it's fine and their language is idiomatic.

Avoidant personality: Avoidance is broad: they skip meetings, decline promotions, and believe they're inferior.

Shame: Gaze drops after particular topics; it's about this moment, not a general style.

Schizoid personality: Little interest in connection; they're not anxious, just indifferent.

A next move

Make a direct, explicit request in writing. If they deliver perfectly, it's a literal style; if they avoid the task too, look at anxiety or avoidance.

If it’s you

When I look away, what am I avoiding: their eyes, or what I'd see in them?