Hoards money and still feels poor
They have a healthy savings balance and still won't put the heating on. A broken shoe is mended with glue for a year. Any spending talk ends with 'we can't afford it', though they can.
Rule out first
A real goal they're saving for, such as a deposit or retirement. Income that is about to drop. Debts or dependants you don't know about. A family or culture where frugality is valued and chosen, not feared.
What could explain it
Money vigilance: They watch money closely, keep it private and feel uneasy spending. Saving feels like the only safe move, and the unease doesn't shrink as the balance grows.
Scarcity and the bandwidth tax: The habit dates from a time of real lack, a childhood or a lost job, and never caught up with how things are now.
Vulnerability to harm or illness schema: Money is one of many shields against disaster. They fear illness, crime and accidents with the same force.
Loss aversion: Spending registers as a loss, not a swap. A small outlay hurts more than what it bought pleases.
Obsessive-compulsive personality (OCPD): Thrift is one part of a wider rigidity: rules, lists, control of detail, and a sense that their way is the right way.
Intergenerational transmission: A parent or grandparent lived through real loss and said the same things about money. The lines repeat almost word for word.
A next move
Ask them, once and plainly, what number would feel like enough. A number that keeps moving points to vigilance. A story from the past points to scarcity. A list of other dangers points to the vulnerability schema. A firm rule about how money must be handled points to OCPD.
If it’s you
What do I picture happening if I spent money freely for a month?