Charming at first, then contemptuous
In the hiring process they're warm, funny and attentive. Three months in, they roll their eyes at your questions and talk over you.
Rule out first
A real disappointment that soured things. Stress after the honeymoon. You only saw their interview mode, which is not the same as manipulation.
What could explain it
Self-monitoring: They adjust to every setting and the switch is about context, not about you; they're polite but less dazzling once comfortable.
Splitting: Something happened that flipped you from good to bad overnight, and the contempt is emotional, not strategic.
Grandiose narcissism: Charm was for winning you; once won, you lost value, and they turn the charm on the next important person.
Idealise-devalue-discard cycle: A repeating cycle with many people: lavish attention, contempt, dropping them, sometimes a return.
Psychopathy: The charm was a performance with no warmth behind it, used to get something; once they have it, contempt is open and there's no remorse.
Objectification: seven ways of treating a person as a thing (Nussbaum): The turn tracks your usefulness, not anything you did: charm while you could supply something, then you're fungible and the next useful person takes your place. Ask how they talk about the ones before you.
A next move
Look at how they treat people who are of no use to them now: old colleagues, people they've left. Polite but less effortful means self-monitoring; cold or cruel means the charm was instrumental.
If it’s you
Who do I charm, and what happens to my interest in them once I've got what I wanted?