Won't look at money at all
Letters from the bank sit unopened on the side for weeks. Asked how much is in the account, they say they don't know and change the subject. The partner pays the bills because they won't log in.
Rule out first
A partner who has always handled the money by agreement and both are fine with it. Real chaos, where the post is lost rather than avoided. Low literacy, poor eyesight or a disability that makes paperwork hard. A crisis elsewhere taking all their attention this month.
What could explain it
Ostrich effect: They look when news is likely to be good, after payday or a rising market, and stop looking when it isn't. The avoidance tracks the expected number.
Money avoidance: They talk about money as dirty, greedy or not for people like them. Windfalls get spent or given away fast, and the avoidance goes with a belief, not only a fear.
Financial anxiety: Even a small bill brings dread, a racing heart or tears. The avoidance is a way of not feeling that, and they avoid good news too.
Money shame: They hide the state of their money from people close to them, and the fear is of being judged, not of the figure itself.
Financial dependence: Someone else has always managed it for them, and they doubt they could. Asked to try, they freeze or hand it back.
Experiential avoidance: Money is one of many things put off: the dentist, the hard email, the boiler. Anything that would bring a bad feeling waits.
A next move
Notice whether they look after payday and avoid before it. Then notice what they say when money comes up. Belief talk points to money avoidance. Panic points to anxiety. Hiding points to shame. Handing it to you points to dependence. The same pattern with the dentist and the boiler points to wider avoidance.
If it’s you
When did I last avoid looking at a number, and what did I think it would say about me?